Should we do ministry and life alone?
For quite some time now I have been thinking about writing a blog or article about the importance of being aligned with the right people and have accountability to someone or have a church or ministry who could help us grow and develop our relationship with God and serve and support us in the work we do in God's vineyard!
There are some questions I would ask myself first before I go deeper into this. Do I have people I am accountable too? People I can trust that could speak into my life? Am I aligned with a network or a church community that supports my calling and invests in my destiny God has called me into? Do I have mentors who are able to point things out to me? And in return do I take on their advice? Do I actually implement in my life what Jesus teaches me through my mentors? Do I actually believe He can speak through my friends, pastors, mentors in my life or am I this person who believes that the only way He speaks is through the bible?
Let me share my heart on this and what I've learned from my own journey, understanding the hurt and pain some have gone through and how difficult it sometimes can be to recognise gifting in people and how we can work together in healthy relationships with one another, so we can advance the gospel together as a team. Always remember that we need everyone in the body of Christ to work together in seeing as many people come to know Jesus, churches equipped and empowered and to see regional, national and international revival happen, we need a revival of unity, acceptance, love and care in our lives.
My Journey and lessons I've learned
Let me share a little bit about my own journey in aligning with the right people to help me grow and develop in my own life, relationships and ministry. I remember when I first got saved and I was super excited about telling everyone about Jesus. I was wild for Him and suddenly I started to think that I wasn't understood, because sometimes people thought I was weird or absolutely crazy the way I was living my life with Jesus. I must be very honest here of course that through my own personal problems in my life and my rebellion as a child and teenager, I took this with me in how I thought that I was able to just go and do what I wanted to do for Jesus. Obviously in this period I was very young in my walk with God and I had to learn how the be a follower of Jesus. I needed people in my life to mentor me, speak into my life, I have been rebellious against every form of leadership due to my lack of commitment, honour, respect and understanding the time and season I was in and that everything didn't have to happen straight away. With me being quite an enthusiastic person and having a dozen ideas, I could often find myself running in front of God instead of after God. I wasn't able to think straight about things and because and because I have not always been heard, understood or accepted as a child and teenager in my own personal life, I took this into my relationship with Jesus and my relationship with my pastors and leaders who have been placed in my life to make sure I grow in my relationship with Jesus. Because of all this, I went my own way and got myself in trouble all the time. I didn't have any accountability and answered to nobody and thought I was able to do everything myself and told everyone that God is my mentor and I need no other person to teach me and tell me how to do things. Obviously that was very arrogant and self-centred for me to say. Well, I quickly learned that this was not the smartest choice I made. It was a journey for me throughout my whole life to pray and seek God for the right people that were part of my tribe and were further on in their walk with Jesus and ministry, who could father and mother me, mentor me to a place that i was able to father and mentor others. I have found these precious fathers and mothers in a number of people who are still fathering, mothering and mentoring me and my wife.
I find it very challenging at times, because I so want to go my own way at times, but it has got my into trouble a lot of the time and I decided to take on everything my mentors have taught me and are still teaching me. Of course the most important thing is to be equipped and empowered through reading the word God ourselves. This because I want to live in the fear of God all the days of my life and have accountability toward people that love me, have the best in for me, want me to thrive in every area of my life. I have been very challenged at times and have had to learn things the hard way, because of my ignorance, my stubbornness not wanting to listen to what my mentors had to share and I thought I could do it my own way.
Recognising the pain and hurt
I know there's a lot of us out there that have been hurt by church , leaders, pastors and people alike. Many of us know that we are called and appointed by God and each of us have their unique calling and destiny in life. We are not always understood when we step out in certain things Holy Spirit has inspired us to do. Obviously the people who are not always being understood are those with apostolic, prophetic and evangelistic calling on their lives. Because pastors don't always understand the gift mix, we can easily run off and do our own thing and leave our churches just like that. Perhaps the reason why that they don't always understand the gift mix is, because these precious people are often very entrepreneurial, always come up with ideas, it can sometimes create a mess for pastors to clean up and this can cause friction, disappointment, frustration and rejection from our side. Because of this, we often can think, you know what I am going to start my own ministry and be my own leader and I am not going to be answerable and accountable to anyone. I understand that there's those out there who use their authority in a controlling way and actually have spiritually mistreated you, but I think we also need to try and understand them too and learn to forgive what happened. There's reconciliation which need to take place in our hearts before we can move forward in what God has given us to do. The only thing with this is, that when we are not accountable and answerable and we get into trouble, there's nobody you can talk to and work through the issues. I am realising that you might be reading this and relate to some of this. I want to say to you that you are not alone and you are not abandoned. There is a place for you! God loves you and has not left you alone.
Understanding the gift mix and how to support them
My wife and I just recently launched our online church community about 6 weeks ago and we quickly realised there's a huge gift mix in our community. Obviously, my wife and I are very new in leading a church and I want to be honest and say that we have a lot to learn in being pastors, leading a freshly launched church which is launched right in the middle of the pandemic. We are not perfect, nobody is perfect. However, we do our best to make space for every single person in our church to express their gift mix. What I often do is to build relationship and get to know the people we have in our church community or people who would like to get involved in our ministry. As I said before, we have just started out as pastors of a small community and we have no intention to come across like we know what we are doing, but simply share our heart on this matter and have an understanding of how we would support those in our community with their unique gift mix and how we do our best to give everyone a place to grow and develop them without hurting themselves in the process. On behalf of the people that have left churches, because they felt misunderstood, rejected, frustrated and in this case have rebelled against the church, please forgive us. One of the things we could do as pastors and leaders is to start a conversation with your apostolic, prophetic and evangelistic members of the church. Let them share their hearts and you share your heart with them. Let's come to mutual understanding and create safe places where they can grow in their gifting without any judgment from us. This way people know that it's okay to make mistakes. The best way to see your people grow and develop their gifting is, to be loving, accepting and understanding of where they come from. We need the apostles, prophets and evangelists in the church. We cannot build the foundation of the church without the gift mix.
There is the right alignment for you
You might be wondering are there any people out there who would understand me? Who would walk with me? Am I ever going to find my tribe? Those leaders who take me under their wing and nurture, care, love and mentor us without judgment, without control? Simple answer from me, yes there are those out there who understand you. There are those out there that know what you are going through. It's about praying and seeking the Lord and asking Him to reveal the right alignment to us. I had to learn this too, because I have been in alignment with the wrong networks, churches and people in the past who have brought me more hurt and pain then proper love, understanding and care. Obviously, it's important that you find the people who are part of your tribe, just as I was saying earlier on in my article. There are amazing networks people and churches out there that are very much evangelistic, prophetic and apostolic in nature and would love to welcome you into their circle and nurture and care for you and see you thrive and flourish in a safe way. I am thankful for some of the amazing networks and people that are involved in my life and that of my wife. These people who understand me and my wife in what we are called into and nurture and care for us and love us unconditionally and are allowed to speak into our lives, because we know they have a straight line with God and are honourable and respected people and networks.
Let us not be like the world, but be wise at the same time
We live in a self-focused, self-centred, egocentric, selfish society and so often we can be this way as believers too. Thinking that we know best and we don't need anyone to speak into our lives. I would like to help us out of this dream and make us realise that we can't do Christian life on our won and definitely not ministry. We need one another and iron sharpens iron! Find the right people, the right network, the right church where you can be you and have these people speak into your lives, your ministry and anything else that needs speaking into and let's stop being self-centred and let's be accountable to one another! Of course it's very important to be wise in who you can be yourself with, but do have someone to mentor you whom you can trust and whom you can be yourself with and someone who will understand your heart and zeal for the Lord and for His purpose in your life.
More information
If you find it hard to find the right people, church or network to belong too, please feel free to reach out to us and we can have a chat with you about it and support you in finding your tribe. We know of some great people, networks and churches that would be very happy to receive you and journey with you in a safe and respectful way. Obviously, if you want to talk through stuff with us, please don't hesitate to contact us too. We have been where you are and we would love to journey with you too.
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